I have wanted to talk about this art piece since I made it in December 2022, so I’m grateful to myself for finally making the time! This post is a little heavy in that I talk about grief and pet loss. I talk about how creating this art piece helped me process my emotions. By connecting with nature and through my art practice, I found the strength of letting go. May you find the healing that I found in making and connecting to this artwork.
Losing Raspberry
In December 2022, I experienced an intense heartbreak when my elderly dog, Raspberry, died. My partner and I adopted her as a senior in October 2021. Even though we only had a little over a year together, we spent nearly every moment of that time together.



Raspberry had health problems when we adopted her, and those began to worsen around August/September 2022. All of my energy was devoted to her care and making sure she was comfortable. So her death was a huge blow. I lost this little creature that I had cared for so dutifully for months.
To help me process these intense emotions, I turned to my art to help release some of my pain, love, and grief. Grief is such a weird emotion to deal with. It’s both an expression of love and the loss at being able to continue loving someone on the physical plane. It really takes an incredible amount of strength to let go.
Drawing Inspiration from Nature
My partner and I frequently take walks around the neighborhood as a form of exercise, but also to get ourselves back into our bodies so we can process our emotions. On one of these walks, in November 2021, we came across this California Buckeye tree in someone’s front yard. I was absolutely struck by the tenderness of this tree, specifically the way the huge seeds were being released onto the ground.

It’s so hard to put into words what I felt as I looked at this tree. The weight of the seeds had made the thin branches bow low to the ground. Almost as if the tree was trying its best to release each seed as close to the ground as possible. To be as gentle as it could be. Because being born is hard. Growing up is hard. Living life is hard. This tree wanted to give its seed as much gentleness as it could in this moment of letting go.
When I looked at this tree, I cried. Raspberry’s health was deteriorating and I was so worried about losing her. But most of all, I worried about her suffering and being in pain. Raspberry was an incredible communicator though. So, I trusted that she would tell us when it was time for her to go. And she did, about 1 month after I took this photo of the California Buckeye seed pod.
The Meaning Behind My Artwork
This tree so deeply represents my experience of possessing the strength, love and gentleness I needed to let Raspberry go. At its core, that is what this art piece is about.

A rainbow gently swirls around and holds the top of a tree branch that has a large seed pod at the bottom. The seed pod is slowly opening to release the seed into an otherworldly portal. The branch comes in from the foreground (our reality) and extends through an arched-doorway portal to reach its destination (a different reality). Around this doorway, the words are shown, “with all of my strength, I let go.”
In my mind, “strength” is often connected with holding on to something. But this experience showed me that strength is also needed to let go. I will forever be grateful for Raspberry and her presence in my life. As hard as it was and is to let her go, she will always be with me.
I created this piece using digital collage and digital painting. In this piece, I also used another creation that I made, which I will talk about in another blog post.
Thank you for reading about my work! I look forward to talking more about my process, the thoughts and emotions behind my work, as well as the inspiration for it. Did you take another meaning from this artwork? What did you think about the tree seed pod? Let me know in the comments!
Thanks again for being here.
With love,
Martina